After debate moderator Chris Wallace tried to set a diabolical trap for Biden by asking him for his policy positions, Biden shrewdly saw the trap coming a mile away and refused to answer the question.

"Naw, that's a trap. A bunch of malarkey, I say!" Biden retorted. "I ain't gonna tell you nothin'. You'll just try to use my policy positions to make me look bad! Well, I ain't fallin' for it, Jack. No sir, no how."

"Don't you want to see my policies?" Biden said. "I know I do! Vote for me in November and you may just get a chance to see them! Besides, Donald Trump? Come on, man! Look at that guy! That guy can't even bench press a flea-bitten mink coat in a snowstorm!"

In a closed-door fundraising dinner, Kamala Harris assured supporters that they do in fact have policy positions that can be found on BLM's website or in a book called Das Kapital by a fellow named Karl.