Give them licenses -- it's a safety issue. //

It was a perfect piece: The pooch used someone else’s gas to go ’round and ’round and do nothing but make a mess. Then it crashed and broke something it didn’t own, leaving other people to pay for the whole thing. Sounds just like C-SPAN.

There was one small problem, though: The dog was unlicensed in the state of Florida, thanks to a xenofurbic legislature.

Does that respect the dignity of those who dig?

As for canine rights, personally, I say let ’em drive — it’d greatly troll the environmental elites, who appear to believe it’s wrong to travel in anything other than private jets. And safety won’t be a problem — where I live in LA, once you get on the freeway, you can’t go anywhere anyway.

However, there is, of course, a terrible physical limitation that will forever keep dogs from being full-fledged American drivers: Lacking a thumb and sporting only four toes, they don’t have a middle finger.