14383 shaares
5331 private links
5331 private links
- Chuck Norris once walked away from a fight with two broken ribs and a dislocated arm. He hasn't given them back yet.
- Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris can hear faster than the speed of sound.
- Chuck Norris can find the end of a circle.
- Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
- Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
- Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
- Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn't dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.
- Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is called claustrophobia, and fear of Chuck Norris is just plain logic.
- Chuck Norris used to beat the up his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.
- Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
- Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
- Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
- Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
- Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
- Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.
- Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
- It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.
- When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
- Chuck Norris wins russian roulette with a fully loaded revolver.
- Chuck Norris can speak braille.
- Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
- Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
- Chuck Norris found the last digit of pi.
- Chuck Norris doesn't have good aim. His bullets just know better than to miss.
- Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
- Chuck Norris once went to mars. Thats why there are no signs of life.
- The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
- Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
- Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
- Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
- Bulletproof vests wear Chuck Norris for protection.
- Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
- Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
- When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
